Happy New Year! I spent my New Year’s Eve having a full day of working (dog walks), brainstorming and working on a new business with my new business partner doing my dream job (stay tuned - eeeeeek!), doing a good deed, all the normal firework farm prep, and then ending the night with a super long soak and a midnight kiss! That last thing has not happened in YEARS!! I stayed up as long as I could intending to make it to midnight, but must have dozed off around 11:45. Luckily Christian came in and woke me with a kiss right at midnight (<3) !!
I did plan on going out for a bit to meet up with friends in town from CA, but the party started too late for me to stay motivated - bahahaha! These days if it don’t start at 5 or 6, that window closes and the jammies are more enticing…
Today I had another full day of work, but first (!!!) I worked out in my home gym! Whoop! I’m sore tonight, so I am excited to see my how my body changes at my age… then as I was driving to my first appointment, I realized that I hadn’t worked on New Year’s Day since I was 20 and bartending! I’m 47 now. That’s a crazy realization! And all those other years I was off for any holiday, there was always a little trickle of doom setting in on those days off that I’d have to go back to work at a job that was not fulfilling in the least bit. I’m not gonna lie… for years I cried every Sunday about having to go back to that place… Not anymore! And!! I worked today. My work was walking trails with dogs and then playing fetch with a couple of labradors until they were pooped. In total I had 4 appointments and didn’t dread one second.
In between my morning and afternoon appointments, I washed my stepdad’s truck and returned it after having needed it and had it long before he passed away over the summer. He loaned it to me, but I couldn’t return it to him… I haven’t washed any vehicle at home in ages. That was cathartic and healing in and of itself. The act of being able to return it because we no longer needed it was also a door closing. It meant our house was done and all the loads of demolition debris were finally gone. I worked hard over the last week hoping to close out the year with that DONE.
This truck though… I scrubbed and washed - more than once. It was filthy. Part of me wished I had put all that effort into cleaning it up anytime he allowed me to borrow it before, but I won’t ever have the opportunity to take it back to him cleaner than when I borrowed it. There was also a book in the backseat that I pulled out of a box of things heading to goodwill a few months ago when mom was making room for his hospital bed. It was a horse book. Shane loved horses and the book was beautiful so I knew it must have been one of his, and I threw it back in the truck. I’d never opened it until today and someone had written on the inside page: “Shane, may all your dreams come true.” My heart sank a little. I know for a fact he didn’t want to leave when he did. I know if he were given an option to stay, he would have. He only ever wanted to hang the moon for my mama. He talked of all the things he was gonna do for her when his health turned around. Up until his last week, he was only thinking of the future with her. I’m so lucky that I got to witness that kind of love for my mama. It was truly beautiful….
I drove that immaculately clean truck back to my mom’s house and she drove me home. We got to do something she’d been wanting to do for a few years but hadn’t had the opportunity because of her schedule and Shane’s needs. She was able to walk the dirt road with me and Reece. She loves Reece so much and I think these walks will become more of a thing and hopefully one day, he will take a treat from her <3
After my last appointment of the day, Christian came home, I ate a plate of green beans, black eyed peas, and fried potatoes my mama left for me, I did all the farm chores, and decided to have a spa evening. A long soak, a facial treatment, a cup of coffee and some couch time with my lovely man.
My mama always said that “whatever you do on New Year’s Day will set the tone for the whole year.” So you don’t want to be doing something that would be a burden to have to do all year. For instance, I wanted to be done with the truck because I didn’t want to need it any longer for the house renovations. I felt that ordeal had dragged out long enough. I didn’t want to take in someone else’s clean-out junk, because I don’t want anymore STUFF. I want experiences. I want more time with the ones I love. I want to savor every single minute. Which is why I got my gym in order and got a workout in first thing this morning. Use it or lose it. Lots of lessons came at me in 2023. I saw vanity and evil in people I once trusted. I also learned how to stand so strong in the face of adversity and keep my dignity. I rediscovered true love. I’ll never take it for granted and although 2023 was brutal for the most part, it made me a better human.
I am so ready for what 2024 brings. The future is BRIGHT.