I’ve gone through a ton of change in the last year and half. Change that I didn’t plan, but had to just run with.
I’m just now realizing that a year ago when I *thought* I was doing alright, I was in some weird survival mode. I’ve felt very different in the last few weeks, but today it became clear. I’ve finally embraced my new place in this world and the freedom that comes with it. It took 15 months for me to get here, but the truth is, I work when I want. I play when I want. I serve my community and volunteer when I want.
I have a bad habit of not allowing myself to get lost in emotions that don’t have a productive outcome. So, this means I tend to busy myself as a way to distract myself from ya know dealing with my feelings. And so many things get done but eventually even my feelings are left confused.
That being said I stayed busy all last year with various things and IT WORKED! I had a breakthrough today while playing in the dirt - something that I absolutely adore but didn’t do at all last year - and realized the weight I’d been carrying is gone! That tightness in my chest is gone. There is still unfinished business being dealt with, but it’s not weighing me down anymore!
Here’s to my new-but-back-to-my-roots self. The me that took pride in being healthy. The me that loved long walks. The me that loved a made-from-scratch sweet stuff every once in a while. The me that loves to sew, plant, learn, and DIY. The me that lives to thrift! I’m back.
I’ve also realized that night blogging is my new norm. Before, I’d blog with my morning coffee before the office, but times have changed.
I leave you tonight with some snapshots from today….
Buddy & stormy skies...
..our little house against a giant most majestic backdrop....
tv snackin'.... popcorn with nutritional yeast - yummmmm
my good boy....
this was my sign that things were genuinely good... I didn't sit for hours on end lost in space and time last year like I have the last few weeks. I have indeed fallen in love with my new life.
I hope you all are having a great week so far...