I Am Thankful For 16 Years With My Dandy Beau!!
We played piano, sang songs, and everyone had a blast that came - it was a house-full and Christian and I actually got to know each other more than just the random passing and smile on the sidewalk, brush against at a party, or car-ride with friends to a movie.... I knew my heart never fluttered this way, and this had to be the real thing. Thanksgiving of 1999 we first kissed..... A year later we moved in together, and over the years have lived in several rental homes in the city. Today we live just outside the city in the beautiful country on a dirt road and are surrounded by lush land and my little menagerie on about 10 acres. I don't know that I could be happier. We have had so many good times and bad, and survived it because we wanted to. Either one of us could have walked away so easily seeing as we are not married, but we CHOSE to make it work. That is quite a testament of our love and looking back, it means so so much to me and how our lives are now.
Here are a few things I have learned about building a lasting relationship....
- dance. sing. dance. sing. dance. We constantly have music playing in the house. It is so easy to just break out a move while cooking and even cleaning, really. I have no real rhythm or moves, so dancing and singing brings me to the next thing on the list as well......
- laugh. A LOT. I also like to refer to this one as 'ab work'. Laughing not only heals the soul, but if strengthens the core!
- have your own things going on. For instance, I have my farm stuff and my sewing that Christian has ZERO interest in, and he has his music! Works out beautifully! We have our own interests, but also really look forward to watching our shows together, going to movies, etc.
- it's OK to go to bed angry. Sometimes when you wake up, it's easier to 'turn the other cheek' - the issue may have worked itself out or vanished altogether... if not, you will both be better equipped to communicate things through after a good night's sleep and some fresh coffee..
- try new things together. We are both not too keen on meeting new people, going to potlucks, things of that nature, BUT this year we have actually been trying a lot of new things - venturing out of the usual boundaries that we set for ourselves. Meeting new people, making new friends, saying 'yes' to more than we would have even just a year ago.
- ALWAYS have each other's back. Remember you are on the same team. This year was extremely tough for our relationship with my dad passing, Baby passing (she was very much like our child and we loved her so much), the financial stress of my car crapping out on me AFTER I had already spent close to $4,000 this year alone, me not really being around for the six months after my dad passing due to his place being two hours away, dealing with estate things, keeping my sister in school where she was until the summer - there was a ton of things that put stress on our relationship, but Christian had my back, supported me when I needed it, and we came out of it feeling stronger than we had in years...
So those are what I believe are the most important things that have kept our relationship in check. I claim to be no expert on anything, but these have worked for me and I am passing on my knowledge! Here's to at least 16 more years with my redhead (I will be a cool ripe old age of 55! whoop!)!!!